subterfuge!

American Idol just isn't the same without Constantine.

He may not have been the greatest singer. He did, however, have the most charisma of the current set of competitors, and from the squealing throng in the Fox audiences, he had the female demographic consistently sewn up.

Last night was the first non-Constantine show, and the performances were mostly bland or bad, with the exception of Scott Savol, that least-liked and therefore now-most-likely-to-win playa, who was true to form with two really great songs. The show doesn't ring true without Constantine, but at least we can hang our hat on the guy who plays underdog to the nation's voting.

Savol must feel testy after the last few weeks. In fact, when you look at him at just the right angle, you can see the seething anger bubbling up. One doesn't expect Seacrest to make it out alive if the guy gets bumped tonight.

As for the "sexpose" story being aired tonight: if Corey Clark had won the competition that year, I'd say sure, maybe Paula Abdul has no business being part of the show and should be ashamed of her behavior. Of course, I say that now anyway, but for completely different reasons. Fact is Corey Clark never stood a chance, and unless someone comes up with photos of "I'll Have Another" Reuben Studdard getting nasty favors from Abdul while they plan his defeat of Clay "I Could Kick Federov's Ass Any Day" Aiken, then it's pretty much a non-story being hyped as a story. As for the claims that the producers of Idol somehow tampered with the voting process, again, I say: "Did you see who won those years?" In my humble, black-hearted opinion, Fantasia Barrino may be the only Idol contestant who ever seemed like the Absolutely Right Choice to win the contest. Until Constantine showed up.

Really, come on, who do you want to see win this kind of thing?

-A perfect, beautiful farm girl with a lovely voice who seems terrific in every way but specializes in country music?

-A hippie who won't "take sides"?

-A dainty little girl who looks like she might snap in two if you squeezed her tight enough?

-The "other black one"?

-Topdog/Underdog?

No, apart from Carrie, Bo, Anthony, Vonzell and Scott, what choices do we have? None. we're past the point of no return as far as Best In Show. That would have been Mr. Maroulis.

You want the jowly, bestubbled, charming rock-and-roll guy. You want the guy who makes your girlfriend squeal, all the while seeming cool enough to talk about old albums with over a couple of beers. You want the guy who could have been you if you hadn't married your first wife, learned to play guitar and been somewhat of an introvert.

On a completely different note, it's been two weeks now and the behavior of the judges has improved vastly. Someone had a meeting...

Finally, why subterfuge!? Because all this hype over nothing, all this wringing of hands and clearing of throats, all this making the stupidest story the biggest story of the day just sounds hollow. If you consider the State Of Things, all of this is really very sad. More people vote on pop-culture music competitions than on public policy and public office. More shows of emotion are spent on the loss of a favorite singer than on the ways we live, the ways we treat others and the direction of our nation and world. A greater emphasis is placed on the commercial product and marketing tool than on health, safety and welfare. Everyone's making such a kerfuffle of so many petty, silly things, and when it comes down to it, veracity is not their forte. They all come across as false idols.

America, you have not kept it real. You are not down.

You are quite simply very, very pitchy.