the screening of be cool: addendum
All of this reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks earlier at a screening of the film Bride and Prejudice, a Bollywood flick that was co-sponsored by the Asian Film Festival of Dallas (AFFD), a group that I support. That evening, I was manning the table of promotional materials as folks came in to see the film. There was one gentleman who approached us and asked about the manner in which we handled the screenings, saying they should be more "dignified". I think he meant something else, but he relished the word "dignified" like it was a very effective good luck charm.
His complaint, re-stated about seven different (but same) ways, was that because he didn't always get a good seat, we were to blame. I tried to point out my favorite clause, the old standard "First Come, First Served Basis", but he had none of that. It was like talking to adults who don't want to actually hear your response, because they have already organized what they think your response should be in their heads, and frankly, you can say nothing to sway them. And don't try logic or anything so well-thought out as reason. They don't barter in reason. If they did, they wouldn't be complaining about getting a better seat while fifty other people walk past them and get, surprisingly, better seats.
Crys is not nearly as patient as I am, though her happy-people skills are quite strong. But I could see and hear her seams coming apart, and I knew she really wanted to pop this guy in the face, or at least tell him to get the fuck out of that theater "before she did something they'd both regret". Yeah, it's a Sedaris line, but it fits.
I've never considered myself good at dealing with conflict. I prefer to joke my way out of situations, charm myself past them. But I think we handled the guy in the right way. We reasoned and reasoned until he finally just left. Still, it all circles back to the concept of, what the hell is wrong with people when it comes to something free? Don't they realize it isn't? Nothing is. There's no lunch, no grocery aisle sample platter, no stack of cutouts that doesn't cost you in some form or fashion. But you can't tell total strangers to stop their whining and act like 40-year-olds. Sometimes they just leave. Sometimes they shoot you in the face. And sometimes they say they'll come back, and you're left never knowing if they're going to keep their word or not.
And really, what does their word cost them?
His complaint, re-stated about seven different (but same) ways, was that because he didn't always get a good seat, we were to blame. I tried to point out my favorite clause, the old standard "First Come, First Served Basis", but he had none of that. It was like talking to adults who don't want to actually hear your response, because they have already organized what they think your response should be in their heads, and frankly, you can say nothing to sway them. And don't try logic or anything so well-thought out as reason. They don't barter in reason. If they did, they wouldn't be complaining about getting a better seat while fifty other people walk past them and get, surprisingly, better seats.
Crys is not nearly as patient as I am, though her happy-people skills are quite strong. But I could see and hear her seams coming apart, and I knew she really wanted to pop this guy in the face, or at least tell him to get the fuck out of that theater "before she did something they'd both regret". Yeah, it's a Sedaris line, but it fits.
I've never considered myself good at dealing with conflict. I prefer to joke my way out of situations, charm myself past them. But I think we handled the guy in the right way. We reasoned and reasoned until he finally just left. Still, it all circles back to the concept of, what the hell is wrong with people when it comes to something free? Don't they realize it isn't? Nothing is. There's no lunch, no grocery aisle sample platter, no stack of cutouts that doesn't cost you in some form or fashion. But you can't tell total strangers to stop their whining and act like 40-year-olds. Sometimes they just leave. Sometimes they shoot you in the face. And sometimes they say they'll come back, and you're left never knowing if they're going to keep their word or not.
And really, what does their word cost them?
posted by scn at 7:39 PM
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